So I had to go to do the grocery shopping yesterday. Could not put it off, as I have the 3 kids, (ages 3, 21m, and 2m) with me for pretty much the rest of the week. I have wicked allergies. I did not want to leave the house to subject the public to my face. Yesterday I looked freakish. We're talking scaring the children, Hunchback of ND freakish. My eye was nearly swollen shut and weeping, and my face was broken out....badly. So I wear my hair down, glasses on, frumpy frumperson clothes, keep my head down and enter the store. The A/C is only making my freak eye worse. I'm just trying to get on with it. I start piling groceries into my cart. I have about 80 litres of milk in the cart, and then it decides to develop the worst wheel squeak the world has ever experienced. I decide to press on. To go back now and transfer my groceries into another cart would just attract attention, and I did not want to attract attention, right? So the squeaking is so loud that everyone is staring at me anyway. My freak eye is watering uncontrollably, and the song "All By Myself" starts playing...for real, not just in my head. I have the whole store to get around yet. People are laughing. A woman trying to talk on her cell phone is wincing and scurrying past me. So now it looks like I'm so embarrassed I'm crying? So I try to lift the cart inconspicuously, without it looking like I'm lifting the cart. Now I'm the crying girl with the weird bulging biceps and shaky arms. In my attempt to steer the cart in this manner, I succeed in hitting every corner I tried to turn round. At this point I should have been selling tickets.
So this is why I felt the need to blog. Stuff like this happens quite often it seems, and Facebook updates just aren't long enough to convey the craziness that is my life.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment